Normalized isn’t Normal

Serve and Return

As we move into the new year, we must reflect upon our relationships with young children. If we want to create secure attachments and meaningful connections, we need to shift our lens from “in charge of” to “responsible for.”

This view enables us to see a child’s behaviors as needs to be met through guidance and support instead of a child as defiant and in need of punishment. When we know better, we should do better.

Let’s do better in 2023!

I regularly ask early childhood professionals and parents about their image of the children in their care. How do they view the children? What words would they use to describe young children? Before the caregivers dig into the reflection process, I ask them to think outside the realm of children being "sponges" or "vessels." This request is the first piece in the process where I get lots of questioning looks.

One sentiment I share so often with teachers is reinforced in this book: It's not about a child's behavior, it is about an adult's decisions. The majority of behaviors that we (adults) find challenging are DEVELOPMENTALLY APPROPRIATE. We are challenged by our inability to understand the child, their behavior, and how we can support them.

Adults often become personally affected and offended when a child is having a behavior struggle. They see the child as giving them (the adult) a hard time versus (the child) having a hard time. We will never be able to truly support young children if we continue to see every behavior as a personal attack.

In many toddler classrooms, you will find toys that are brightly colored and make lots of noise. These materials provide very little space for the child to use their imagination. This is not the case in a Montessori classroom. All of the materials provided to the children have a purpose. They are challenging, allowing children to use their imagination and stimulate curiosity.

I am shocked, horrified, disappointed, and frankly angry at the number of recent incidents where early childhood providers are harming the children in their care. While I understand the frustration of working with young children, there is no excuse for intentionally harming a child.

What do I mean by true fun? Those bliss-filed moments during the day when you aren’t watching the clock or planning activity number one hundred for the week. Those moments when a toddler is laughing so hard their belly shakes. Those moments when you lay on the ground with a group of preschoolers inspecting ant crawling on a dried up worm. Those moments when nothing matters but being fully present. Those moments seem far and few between in our current early childhood climate.

When I am trying to establish why I feel so stuck in certain areas of my life, I look for research-backed resources that will help me design a growth plan. I know that this work in my personal life will help my professional life and vice versa.

We should be asking open-ended questions where children can share their ideas and opinions.

We should all aspire to be more like children.

Let's see their traits as inspiration to be better humans!

How will you ensure that the children in your care are given the support they need?

I recently asked a group of young children to tell me about circle time. They immediately pointed to a space in their classroom and said "that is circle time."

How will you use this information to inform your caregiving and teaching practices?

I am on a mission to Transform ECE; therefore, the content I share reflects this journey. At times it may make you challenge your thinking which can be very uncomfortable. Still, I believe that to grow, we need to feel uncomfortable.

If your early childhood program focuses on social-emotional learning for the children but never took the time to focus on it for the educators, don't expect anyone to grow socially or emotionally.

My daughter has always had the biggest of big feelings. When she was younger negative, peer interactions landed so deep within her heart. Seeing something incredibly adorably would bring her to tears.

Please remember that our mission will provide children with the tools and strategies they will use for the rest of their lives.

What would it look like if you could measure your days in presence instead of productivity?