STOP Taking Behaviors So Personally
This past week I spent time co-learning with two groups of early childhood professionals at their program locations. Their school philosophies were very different but what they had in common was the goal to STOP taking the behaviors of young children so personally.
Adults often become personally affected and offended when a child is having a behavior struggle. They see the child as giving them (the adult) a hard time versus (the child) having a hard time. We will never be able to truly support young children if we continue to see every behavior as a personal attack.
When the child stares at you and continues the behavior, it is not about you. When the child repeats the same behavior, it is not about you. When you have “told them a hundred times,” it is not about you.
Take yourself and your feelings out of the picture. Take time to observe the child at different times of the day. Don’t just focus on the behavior and what happens afterward. The key is to watch what takes place before the behavior.
These before actions are called the Antecedent. It is the setting event that leads up to the behavior itself. This is the child telling you what they need from you. Maybe they need more language, a quiet space to recharge, support from a trusted adult, or a way to let go of their frustration.
Here are a few articles that will support you in your journey to STOP taking behaviors so personally:
Planning for Positive Guidance: Powerful Interactions Make a Difference
Understanding and Responding to Children Who Bite
Co-Regulation: An Evidence-Based Approach to Building Self-Regulation in Early Childhood
15 Psychology Based Self-Regulation Techniques For Adults & Children
