I had the privilege of facilitating two workshops at the (Harvard) Campus Child Care's 18th Annual Day of Learning last week. I heard an incredible keynote speaker, met the lovely Early Childhood Nerd, Heather Bernt-Santy, and spent the day playing (and learning) with an amazing group of early childhood educators. I’m so lucky to get to do this work every day.
The night before the conference, I stayed in a “fancy” hotel. I don’t come from a life of fancy hotels, so it was really special. Unfortunately, because I’m not used to this kind of accommodation, I started to feel like I didn’t deserve it, like I didn’t belong. I’m the gal in jeans, a T-shirt, and house shoes, heading to the lobby to pick up my DoorDash. I am not the gal headed out on the town.
This feeling of not belonging stayed with me most of the evening. You see, I come from humble roots. I still see myself as this little girl who grew up in a mobile home on a farm, with a mom who stayed home and a dad who worked for the local road department. I still see myself as the elementary-aged student who had a speech impediment and was in special education for reading support. I can still hear my high school counselor tell me I’ll never amount to anything as they scheduled an Army recruiter to come visit my family and me at home. How others view you, speak to you, and speak about you can stick with you for a long time.
Do you know what turned that feeling around? The moment I knew I belonged in that space, and frankly any space, was seeing stacks of my T-shirts lined up on the table. The conference host bought enough shirts for each teacher. This almost 10-year-old small business, which I built from the ground up, will be represented on over 200 teachers.
I know this feeling of not belonging will come up every now and then, but when it does, I will remind myself to listen to the voices of the incredible educators who’ve attended my workshop sessions over the past 10 years and the voice of my daughter, who tells me how proud she is of me.
