Talking with Families about Concerns

Early childhood educators occasionally have concerns about a child in their care. These concerns may involve changes in behavior or observations of a child’s development over time. These observations can lead to a discussion and a growth plan for the child.

These concerns are sometimes accompanied by expressing impatience and/or frustration with the child’s family. This typically looks like an educator approaching a family, describing their concerns professionally, and the family rejects the evidence shared by the teacher or becomes defensive. Sometimes families offer explanations that point to the reason why they don’t see any concerns.

Sometimes, even when a child has a diagnosis, families don’t accept it completely and have an inaccurate picture that the child’s condition is temporary or that they will “just get over it”. In these instances, we walk away disappointed, angry, and frustrated. We can’t understand why the family doesn’t want to do what is best for their child.

In these situations, we need to practice empathy by putting ourselves in the family’s shoes. Maybe they have similar worries as you do about their child but have not been able to accept them yet because the possibility that their child is not “typical” is so scary for them. Your concerns may be shocking to them because they thought the behaviors you shared seemed typical.

Some families will respond to your concerns with relief. Maybe they have been struggling at home but didn’t know how to ask for support. Your concern (and support) helps them feel seen and understood. Some families will need time and more support to accept what you’ve said. Others will keep rejecting concerns about their child over and over again.

As early childhood professionals, we know that pursuing issues around a child’s behavior and development (even when it leads to a formal diagnosis) does not change who the child is and makes more support (often free support) available. For parents, the diagnosis could change their entire world. Remember this when supporting families. It can make all the difference in your relationship with the family and their child.