When my daughter was younger, and I tucked her into bed each night, we would discuss our roses and thorns for the day. The roses were the extraordinary things, and the thorns were the prickly hard things. This nightly ritual was a great way for us to connect and for me to model that even when something is difficult, we can work together to develop a way to improve the situation.
Sharing roses and thorns was also how I ended each day with my students. This daily ritual helped the children learn to honor the fun parts of their day while understanding that the problematic (prickly) things are sometimes more manageable when you share them with us. Humans tend to focus on the negative and forget the positive.
Fast forward to my work with early childhood professionals, program leaders, and parents. I use the same roses and thorns ritual to help with reflection, goal setting, and growth. Sharing the thorns not only helps us feel heard, but it can also help us connect and problem-solve with others who may share the same thorny experiences. Highlighting the roses allows us to recognize the fantastic parts of being part of the lives of children.
I challenge each of you to list your roses and thorns from this school year. What are the things that made you thankful and loved? What were the things that made you smile and laugh? What did you learn from the little ones you spent each day with?
Next, list the things that felt thorny this school year. What were the things that made you feel frustrated and overwhelmed? What were the things that made it difficult to do your job? What were the things that kept you from building relationships with your teaching peers, the children, and their families?
Now you are going to compare your roses and your thorns. Is there anything from your rose list that could help you soften those prickly thorns? For example, if one of your roses was the opportunity you had to sit down and be present with the children and one of your thorns was feeling rushed each day, then you could find a way to slow life down in the classroom so you could spend more time being present than busy. This could be like changing your lesson plan so you can spread learning opportunities throughout the week instead of having different activities each day.
There are some things that you may not be able to change. While we may not be able to change the system, we can change the way we work within the system. We can choose to spend less time frantically running around the classroom; we can choose to be more flexible, we can choose to be the playful teacher, and we can choose to be the one who speaks up so that things can change.
Feel free to reach out if you need help with any of your thorns, i.e., behavior guidance, age-appropriate expectations, lesson planning, etc. I have tons of resources that I am happy to share. Together we can transform early childhood education!
